Sometimes it’s hard to find words. And yet, we try – because we want to honour them.
You stare at a blank page or screen. You may have tears in your eyes. You have heaviness in your heart. Writing a eulogy is one of the most personal things you can do, but it can also feel overwhelming, especially when you’re grieving.
The best place to start is not with writing – but with remembering. Think about the person, not as a list of achievements, but in the small details: how they moved through the world, the things they always said, how they made people feel.
Sometimes a single story or moment can say more than a full biography. Stories engage the listener and stay with them long after the service is over. Stories can show a side of that person that may not have been known to others. Stories can be great discussion catalysts at a wake.
It’s okay if it’s not polished. You’re not writing a speech for a crowd – you’re telling people about someone who mattered deeply. Start with what’s true and let the words follow. There’s no one right structure. You might speak from the heart, share a few key memories, or focus on one theme that captured who they were.
If you’re stuck, talk it through with someone. Say the words out loud before you write them. Or ask for help – many celebrants, including myself, can support you with shaping your thoughts or even reading them for you on the day if that feels right.
This is not about perfection. It’s about love. Let it be enough.
Next steps
If you’d like help with writing a eulogy, I can gently guide you through the process, or offer feedback on what you’ve written.
Even if you’re just unsure where to start, you’re welcome to get in touch for a quiet, supportive chat. We can take it one step at a time.